Today WAS, and yes, I am gonna use past tense despite the fact that the day is S T I L L infecting me like a parasite in my intestines during a trip to Me-hee-co where i accidentally swallowed shower water, TODAY WAS, one of those WRITE OFFS where you regret every decision you've made your entire life. In short, fucking fuck. I took matters into my own hands and went to Kick Pleat. Kick Pleat is as dependable as a Z-Pack.
Shit gives you relief.
I went ahead and snatched up this radical and correct hat that is straight up Ralph Lauren 1980's. I'm just gonna get on my steed and ride away through some wheat fields beneath a steel grey sky. OK?
I'm so Out of Africa with my new hat, I'm cuddling baby lion cubs and shit. You have NO idea.
Did I feel better? Hell yes, I felt better because Kick Pleat is where dreams come true.
Now, I had a thought that you probably didn't have because one of your favorite movies probably isn't Children of the Corn. It is mine.
Because today life=intestinal parasite, I thought, "Oh NO!, Is my new hat straight up Isaac from Children of the Corn?" No, it's just my mind playing tricks on me. IT IS RALPH LAUREN.
If you have ANY questions at all, just call OPRAH! Now I'm going to baptize myself in a martini and start anew.